May 2013
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immiqrant:
I got some McDonalds and it costed $6.66 and my cashier said “oh lawd can you order some extra sauce or somtin gawd has been good to me that number is for da devil or somtin”
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squeakyfangirl:
dftbhailey-42:
rainyohead:
dftbhailey-42:
rainyohead:
morrissarty:
meladoodle:
why the fuck aren’t glue sticks square so you can get the corners
you are a genius
how are you supose to screw them down if they’re square then?
maybe you could push them up?
How do you push them back down?
A lever on the side like one of those multiple-color click pens, so you...
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effiesgreenwig:
if you rub my back when you hug me i might fall in love with you
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localnativity:
that’s not dandruff falling out of my hair it’s cocaine
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42-0dr0p-it-lyk3-itz-hawt69:
damn some of yall have some shitty urls lol
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cumillionaire:
If my jokes offend you:
I’m sorry
It won’t happen again
1 & 2 are lies
You’re a pussy
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50% of me wants to be the type of girl who does yoga at night, and drinks green tea, and reads books, and wears cute pyjamas, and stays at home; while the other 50% of me wants to wear my sexiest outfit and go out doing lines of cocaine off strippers racks while dancing to dirty music until I black out.
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harrybreathe:
and then sometimes i think wow wouldn’t it be nice for harry styles to squeeze my hips against his pelvis and groan into my neck and then throw me in bed and thrust me until his eyes roll
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scoused:
one day i aspire to shop price high to low
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esexist:
there is a thin line between being sassy and being an asshole and i cross it everyday
bettywhite4ever:
fffcuk:
it snew today
i think i just busted vein from laughing so hard what the hell is snew an actual word
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makeitzayn:
old enough to know better…too young to care *duck face* *inverted peace sign*
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look i don’t wanna be famous for the fame i want to be famous so i can meet other famous people
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sn8wman:
no don’t do that i’ll fall in love with you
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onionchester:
the worst is when you’re telling someone something or discussing a topic and someone interrupts and changes the topic completely and you’re left with all these things to say but no way of getting back to it unless the other person asks
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llcooljofficial:
no wonder foreigners don’t like americans i mean our mascot looks like the bird form of a douchebag who takes gym class too seriously
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autumn-fhtagn:
Is it still gay if you call it a brojob?
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